How do we self-soothe in healthy, gentle, emotionally intelligent ways?
✳️ FOCUS: Comfort Rituals + Sensory Grounding
🧖♀️ 1. Self-Soothing 101
What is it?
Why do we need it?
How do we learn it when we’ve never seen it modeled?
Let’s be real for a second—if you grew up in chaos, trauma, or emotional neglect, the idea of “self-soothing” might feel foreign or even laughable. Like, what even is that? Is it a bubble bath? A fancy candle? Telling yourself “you got this” while crying into a pillow?
Honestly… kind of. But it’s also so much deeper than that.
🔍 What Is Self-Soothing?
Self-soothing is the practice of calming yourself down from emotional overwhelm or distress—without depending on outside sources to fix it. It’s how we regulate our nervous systems, remind ourselves we’re safe, and return to a sense of emotional balance.
It’s not toxic positivity.
It’s not pretending everything is fine.
It’s not just distraction.
It’s learning to sit with your discomfort and offer yourself comfort. It’s grown-up swaddling. It’s emotional re-parenting. It’s a quiet “I’m here” whispered to your inner child.
💔 Why Do We Need It?
Because no one else is coming to save us from the storm inside. That part is on us.
Yes, connection heals. Yes, therapy helps. But between the sessions, during the 2AM panic attacks, after the fights or triggers or unexpected flashbacks—you need tools. You need you.
Without self-soothing skills, we tend to:
Numb out (scrolling, bingeing, drinking, dissociating)
Blow up (rage, impulsive texts, shutting down)
Stay stuck in emotional loops (shame, fear, guilt)
With self-soothing, we begin to:
Build emotional intelligence
Cultivate resilience
Rewire our nervous system
Feel safe inside our own skin again
🧠 But How Do You Learn It…
…When No One Ever Taught You?
If comfort was a foreign language growing up, learning to self-soothe as an adult can feel awkward, even cringey. But here’s the truth: you can learn it now. And it doesn’t have to be perfect.
Start small. Start messy. Start with comfort rituals and sensory grounding.
Here are a few practices to try:
🔸 Touch: Wrap up in a soft blanket. Put a hand on your chest. Hug a pillow. I use a weighted blanket.
🔸 Sound: Play calming music or healing frequencies. Breathe with the rhythm.
🔸 Scent: Lavender, peppermint, eucalyptus—whatever brings peace to your nose.
🔸 Movement: Rock gently. Stretch. Go for a slow walk. Let your body lead. I love to swing. I have a hiding spot with quiet nook and some trees, the swing and my music.
🔸 Voice: Speak to yourself like someone you love. Out loud. Try: “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”
You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to show up—again and again—for yourself.
That’s self-soothing. That’s healing.
💬 Journal Prompt:
“When I feel overwhelmed, what do I need to hear? What did I need back then that I can give myself now?”
